Some menopause symptoms get a lot of attention. Hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings, brain fog, and weight gain get talked about quite a lot.

But what about sex? Or lack of to be more accurate.

If you’re a woman of a certain vintage you’re going to have noticed a drop in libido and even when you can persuade yourself to do the deed it’s probably not very comfortable.

Well here’s the thing, just as you can learn to manage all your other symptoms you can get your sex life back too (assuming that’s what you want!)

Why does it hurt so much?

Your sex hormone oestrogen is a moisture giving hormone so as levels drop you’ll begin to experience vaginal dryness. Add to that your vaginal walls are thinning and the results are painful sex sometimes accompanied by bleeding.

Why you don’t want to do it anymore?

Er see point 1. Why would you want to do anything that hurts? Plus if you’re also experiencing hot flushes, your weight has ballooned and your moods are all over the place sex will be the last thing on your mind. And that’s totally understandable.

How to reboot your libido

Talk about it

Tell your partner how you’re feeling and why. Communication is the key to good relationships so you have to tell your partner what’s going on with you.

Get romantic

Spend time together, cuddle up and kiss like you used to 20 years ago. It may take you longer to warm up but once you do it will be totally worth it.

Vitamin E

Studies show supplementing with vitamin E increases blood supply to the vaginal wall – it takes around four weeks for you to notice a difference.


Add maca, in powder form, to your smoothies. Maca helps with a variety of hormone imbalance issues including vaginal dryness.

Lube up

There are a number of natural lubricants available that will immediately give you moisture where you need it and take the pain out of sex. Brands you can buy online or over the counter include sylk and yes yes yes.

Why bother?

The biggest trigger for menopause symptoms like your flushes, mood swings and tears is stress and rising cortisol levels. Now you can’t avoid stress in this day and age but what you can do it learn to manage it.

One of the best relievers of stress is the big O.

When you orgasm oxytocin, the hormone of love, is released and this release of oxytocin leads to a reduction in cortisol your main stress hormone.

There’s also the use it or lose it principle to consider. The female orgasm stimulates blood flow to the vagina that helps massage, soften and thicken the tissue.

So the more you do it the better it gets!